In this quest, I had to provide an example of one of my student's work. My student's name has been removed, but this is a real life example of the type of writing I get from my most diligent students. Since I am an ESOL teacher, and most of my students speak languages like Burmese, Chin, Swahili, and a host of other languages, it is extremely hard to teach writing because everyone comes from so many different ethnic backgrounds. The students in my school really struggle with reading comprehension and writing because many of them don't have a language that is rooted in the Latin alphabet. Anyway, the sample below is from a student who has been in the country for about 2.3-3 years. This student is very confident and very smart, and this is an example of how a 7th grader with about 3 years of English Proficiency can do. I used Paperrater.com to provide swift assessment, so I copied and pasted my student's information into paper rater, and the results are below. The first part is a screen print, and the second part is a printed version with specific comments.
Example of a level 3 ESOL Student's Narrative (7th Grade)
Once upon time there was a girl name noi.she was 16year old and goes to fly high school.she was very beautiful but she only have 1 best friend his name was inu .yet even she was beautiful everone thing that she was a freak.but inu was best friend since 1st grade.inu loved noi very much but noi only thing him as a best,close friend.inu was a very smart,but fight a lot.inu alwas help noi.but one day a new student came to school.his name was kei.everone thing he was very hand some but very curl.and don’t even talk to anyone.but when it was lunch time noi got up and ask kei why don’t he talk to anyone,and kei answer iam not here to do anything iam looking for someonehe said.but even she is right here with me she wont remember me .so slow by slow I want to get closer to her kei said with sad face.than noi said I wish you find her quckly.and she left saying that.softly he kei said to himself,you were the one I was looking for.now that kei and inu are now in love with noi,but now that three of them are friends they spend there time together and inu and kei alwas protect noi.because being in love with noi change there life.they even share there homework in school.but one night noi was walking all alone,there was two boys following noi.than when noi noticed that the boys are following her.she ran fast as she can.but when that boys catch her and take her to a deep forest.noi asked why are you doing this.they said we are looking for kei you know him right the boy but noi thought what will they do if I told them where kei is,so she just sit there quitly .if u don’t tell were he is.we have to hurt you they said.but back in kei house there was a note saying if you don’t come at the deep forest.your beloved noi will suffer.hahah.kei got really mad and ran fast as he can before anything happen to noi.when he was running he saw inu.and told him if he can come with him.so they both run.inu asked what had happen to noi.kei said noi have been kidneep by ABZ gang.inu was in shocked but.when they got there.noi was all tie up.so they took all the rope and fan away before the gang catch them.they skip from the forest.noi was crying and she said to kei where were u i was so scared and hug him.inu was feeling sad but he let it be and kei told noi iam sorry to noi.so inu was very happy that noi got someone she love.the end
 | Analysis complete. Our feedback is listed below in printable form. Some of the items have been truncated or removed to provide better print compatibility. |
Title Checker
Review Title
Looks like we may have found a problem with your paper's title:- All nouns, pronouns, verbs, adverbs, and adjectives should be capitalized.
Spelling
Spelling Suggestions
- Spelling: name noishe [suggestions: noise]
- Spelling: was 16year [suggestions: year, a-year]
- Spelling: high schoolshe [suggestions: school she, schools]
- Spelling: was inu [suggestions: in, ink, iou, inc, ind]
- Spelling: beautiful everone [suggestions: ever one, everyone]
- Spelling: freakbut [suggestions: breakout]
- Spelling: freakbut inu [suggestions: in, inn, ink, iou, inc]
- Spelling: 1st gradeinu [suggestions: gradient, grading]
- Spelling: loved noi [suggestions: not, no, now, nor, ni]
- Spelling: noi [suggestions: not, now, no, nor, non]
- Spelling: close friendinu [suggestions: friending]
- Spelling: lotinu [suggestions: losing, looting, loving, loin, loins]
- Spelling: lotinu alwas [suggestions: always, alway, alias, alas]
- Spelling: help noibut [suggestions: nobbut, Korbut]
- Spelling: to schoolhis [suggestions: school his, schools, schoolkids, schoolers, school's]
- Spelling: was keieverone [suggestions: ]
- Spelling: very curland [suggestions: curl and, Kurland]
- Spelling: to anyonebut [suggestions: anyone but]
- Spelling: time noi [suggestions: not, now, no, nor, ni]
- Spelling: ask kei [suggestions: ki, ke, Kei, kepi, kea]
- Spelling: and kei [suggestions: key, kep, kepi, kea, koi]
- Spelling: answer iam [suggestions: i am, i'm, aim, ia, im]
- Spelling: anything iam [suggestions: aim, i am, im, ia, imam]
- Spelling: for someonehe [suggestions: someone he, someone, someone's, someones]
- Spelling: someonehe saidbut [suggestions: said but, sackbut, saidst]
- Spelling: her kei [suggestions: key, ken, ki, ke, Kei]
- Spelling: facethan [suggestions: face than]
- Spelling: facethan noi [suggestions: not, now, no, nor, ni]
- Spelling: her qucklyand [suggestions: Auckland, Buckland]
- Spelling: thatsoftly [suggestions: ]
- Spelling: he kei [suggestions: kep, key, ki, ke, Kei]
- Spelling: looking fornow [suggestions: for now]
- Spelling: that kei [suggestions: key, keg, ki, ken, Kei]
- Spelling: and inu [suggestions: in, ink, inn, int, ins]
- Spelling: with noi [suggestions: no, not, now, nor, non]
- Spelling: and inu [suggestions: in, ink, ins, inn, ing]
- Spelling: and kei [suggestions: key, kep, ken, keg, kepi]
- Spelling: kei alwas [suggestions: always, alway, alias, alas]
- Spelling: noibecause [suggestions: ]
- Spelling: with noi [suggestions: no, not, now, nor, non]
- Spelling: there lifethey [suggestions: life they]
- Spelling: in schoolbut [suggestions: school but, schoolbag, schoolboy]
- Spelling: night noi [suggestions: now, not, nor, no, nod]
- Spelling: following noithan [suggestions: Dothan]
- Spelling: when noi [suggestions: not, now, no, nor, ni]
- Spelling: hershe [suggestions: hers he, her she]
- Spelling: she canbut [suggestions: can but]
- Spelling: deep forestnoi [suggestions: ]
- Spelling: doing thisthey [suggestions: this they, thither, thistle, thistles]
- Spelling: kei [suggestions: key, ki, ke, Kei, ken]
- Spelling: but noi [suggestions: not, no, now, nor, nod]
- Spelling: where kei [suggestions: key, keg, ken, ki, ke]
- Spelling: there quitly [suggestions: quietly]
- Spelling: iswe [suggestions: is we, ise, isle]
- Spelling: they saidbut [suggestions: said but, sackbut, saidst]
- Spelling: in kei [suggestions: key, koi, ki, ke, Kei]
- Spelling: deep forestyour [suggestions: forest your]
- Spelling: beloved noi [suggestions: now, nor, no, not, nod]
- Spelling: sufferhahahkei [suggestions: ]
- Spelling: to noiwhen [suggestions: ]
- Spelling: saw inuand [suggestions: inland]
- Spelling: with himso [suggestions: him so, hims]
- Spelling: both runinu [suggestions: running, ruling, rueing, ronin, renin]
- Spelling: to noikei [suggestions: noise, noised, noises]
- Spelling: said noi [suggestions: no, now, not, nod, nor]
- Spelling: been kidneep [suggestions: kidneys, kidnap, kidney]
- Spelling: ABZ ganginu [suggestions: ganging]
- Spelling: shocked butwhen [suggestions: but when, between, burthen, bitchen, butcher]
- Spelling: therenoi [suggestions: thereof, thereto, therefor, thereon]
- Spelling: tie upso [suggestions: ups, up so, ipso]
- Spelling: catch themthey [suggestions: them they]
- Spelling: the forestnoi [suggestions: ]
- Spelling: kei [suggestions: key, ken, ki, ke, Kei]
- Spelling: hug himinu [suggestions: hiring, hiding, hominy, hiving, homing]
- Spelling: and kei [suggestions: key, kep, kepi, kea, koi]
- Spelling: told noi [suggestions: not, no, now, nor, non]
- Spelling: noi iam [suggestions: i am, i'm, im, ia, aim]
- Spelling: to noiso [suggestions: noise, noisy]
- Spelling: noiso inu [suggestions: in, inn, ink, iou, inc]
- Spelling: that noi [suggestions: no, now, not, nor, nod]
- Spelling: she lovethe [suggestions: love the, liveth, loathe, Goethe, onethe]
Grammar
Grammar Suggestions
- Missing apostrophe: curland dont [suggestions: don't]
- Missing apostrophe: dont [suggestions: don't]
- Did you mean...: spend there time [suggestions: their time]
- Missing apostrophe: u dont [suggestions: don't]
- Missing apostrophe: you dont [suggestions: don't]
- Make I uppercase: u i [suggestions: I]
Word Choice
Bad Phrase Score
Bad Phrase Score*: 7.679 (lower is better)*based on the number and quality of trite or inappropriate words, phrases, and cliches found in your paper.
Your score is within an acceptable range, which shows that you have a solid grasp on which phrases to avoid in your writing. 
Style
Transitional Phrases
Transitional Words Score*: 60*based on quality of transitional phrases used within your paper
Good job! Your usage of transitional phrases is within an acceptable range! Nevertheless, you may still benefit from reading the info below.
These words and phrases fall under a few grammatical categories:
• Conjunctions: but, provided, and, although
• Prepositional phrases: in addition to, in conclusion
• Adverbs: also, however, nevertheless
Transitional phrases may be used in various places in a text:
• between paragraphs
• between sentences
• between sentence parts
• within sentence parts
For example, you could write:
Form and function are central themes in Biology. However, knowing the structure of something does not necessarily reveal its function.
The word 'however' contributes to greater unity or cohesion between sentences.
Vocabulary Words
Vocabulary Score
Vocabulary Score: 4Vocabulary Word Count: 1
Percentage of Vocab Words: 0.21%
Vocabulary Words in this Paper (a Subset): smart
Your usage of sophisticated vocabulary words used is LESS than average. Aim for a vocabulary score greater than 45 (the average score) and it will show in your writing. Please use the Vocab Builder tool. Tips
Whether you are writing for a school assignment or professionally, it is imperative that you have a vocabulary that will provide for clear communication of your ideas and thoughts. You need to know the type and level of your audience and adjust your vocabulary accordingly. It is worthwhile to constantly work at improving your knowledge of words. To help with this task, please consider using our Vocabulary Builder to improve your comprehension and usage of words.
Grade
Education Requirement Not Met
The Auto-Grading feature is only displayed when the writer's education level is greater than 8th Grade because our grading algorithm is based on high school and college level writing. 
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